Naked French Kisses on the steps of the arts

photo credit: www.abc.net.au

So today marks the two month mark of my new years resolution. I am proud to say that I have not faltered and have worn my obnoxiously red lipstick every single day of 2010, no matter what the circumstances of the day have been. So in order to celebrate I thought I would strip down to nothing buy my red lips and pose nude in public with 5,200 other strange naked people.

Today was yet another fabulous Sydney celebration in light of Mardi Gras Gay Pride festival. Spencer Tunick, famed American contemporary artist, was invited to Sydney to create an installation using his favorite props, thousands of naked people and an iconic background. He has done installations in grand central station in NYC, the Dublin Docklands in Ireland, The Shoreditch Private Members Club in London just to name a few ( http://www.spencertunick.com/). This installation was on the Steps of Australia's most iconic structure, the Sydney Opera House. And here's how the story goes...

As expected, Mardi Gras, Sydney style did not disappoint, in fact it had a very lasting impression that carried over into the next day. After surrendering to the couch gods and being worthless all day Saturday I caught up on my much needed beauty sleep for my modeling debut. I woke to my terrible alarm playing some spacey techno theme at the ungodly hour for 3am. I have seen 3am more times than a nun has seen a Bible but it's usually the time I am retiring, not waking. Either way, its an ugly hour. I stumbled out of bed and crashed on the snooze button and pondered what I was about to participate in. Was this really a good idea? Three snooze buttons and a call to the cab company and it was decided, I was going to bare it all. I tried to brush my hair and put on my luscious red lipstick as I heard a knock at the door. I have never gotten such a good turnaround time on a cab call before. I ran to the door in my PJ's and told the stout Ukrainian driver that I needed to use the toilet and I would be right out. Truth was I wasn't dressed hadn't checked all of my areas that would be exposed and potentially in need of some last minute grooming. I didn't want to be offensive. After the damage control was done I hopped in the cab and into the colors of the night to face a very colorful sunrise.

I love Eastern European cab drivers, so full of wisdom and advice on alcoholism, avoiding street fighting and strong family values such as never charging your children rent (I'm not being racist, this is actually what we talked about). Enlightened by my new friend I jumped out at the corner and joined the queue of cattle waiting to be herded in. Everyone was standing around in semi-awkward poses like 7th graders at their first school dance. I couldn't help but look around and think what I'm sure everyone else was thinking "I am going to see ALL of these people naked pretty soon". Tickled pink at the thought I filled out my model release form and started making friends with the people around me.

It was amazing to see the diversity this event attracted. I didn't really know what to expect but whether I thought of it or not, it was all there. Old people, young people, fat people thin people, Black, White, Asian, Heterosexual, Homosexual, Transsexual, grandparents, middle aged parents, young parents with infants and expectant mothers ready to pop. I actually heard about a couple who was and pregnant with twins in attendance. They had rescheduled her Cesarean for later that afternoon so she and her partner could attend the event. I wish I had seen her, that would have been awesome.

As the wind blew and the hours crept on we anxiously awaited dawn. We made small talk and swapped stories and kept each other company as many people were there alone. It was very communal and inviting to wait along the harbour with everyone. People were polite, made way for others and invited strangers to share blankets and conversations while they passed the time. I was especially thankful for this since I completely blanked on bringing a sweater.

Dawn crept up slowly and as the light started peaking over the horizon we were given more instructions about what was going to take place. Finally, at about 6:30am Spencer emerged and started tactfully spewing out instructions. There were two groups of "models" and both were entering from different areas. I was closest to the Opera House so I could see the mass of bodies waiting in the Botanic Gardens below. Finally the command came, first to the garden dwellers and then to us. We all cheered as they stripped off their clothes and let the salty wind kiss their flesh. It was like the wave at a football game first a few people started getting naked then more and more until it reached then end and we were all happy and in the buff. Some people were all about it and ripped their clothes off like savages, others were a bit more timid and carefully took off each piece in a shy tease. I was somewhere in the middle.

Once we were all naked I actually felt more comfortable. I was warmer because of the adrenaline rush and felt like I was a part of a group rather than an individual. This is totally how cults happen, when everyone is doing it it just feels right. We ran up the steps of the opera house yelling and cheering like hippies at Woodstock and got into our formations. Everyone wanted to look around but not be obvious, I mean might as well right? I was obviously no exception, so I surveyed the landscape. Every shape and size of every single body part was present on at least one person there. I saw every piercing, grooming, length, width and girth you have ever heard about in horror stories and fairy tales from the bedroom. I have seen a fare share of naked bodies in my day but nothing like this. It made me feel lucky that all of my previous encounters had only been noteworthy on the positive side. But this is where I say the body is beautiful no matter what shape or size, and though it is cliche' and expected to be heard after an event like this, I do totally believe it.

The choreography of the event was very done quite well considering the model to event staff ratio. We did several poses in several directions and waved at several Sydnians on their way to work. We looked up, we looked down, we turned around and we kissed. This is where France plays a very key role. Being that this installation was in celebration of the Sydney Gay rights parade Spencer wanted to show how much love was put into this event, his art and Mardi Gras as a whole. At this point let me state that this was never sexual or pornographic. Even though we were nude everything was carried out with the utmost respect and grace. No one was ever made to feel uncomfortable by the directors or other participants. No one was vulgar or inappropriate as far as I was aware and in the one instance where vulgarity and immature displays of sexuality where exhibited that individual was tactfully asked to leave immediately.

That being said let me get back to the main event. French kisses. We were asked to kiss our friends, partners or even strangers, if they so permitted. Kisses on the cheek, mouth or forehead were all acceptable displays of affection. I, like many others, was flying solo. I felt like an awkward adolescent again, waiting for someone to ask me to dance, and then they did. He came up to me with his Mediterranean tan and spoke with his eyes, it was clear, I was being asked to dance. We embraced, letting the warmth of each others skin shelter us from the wind but barely grazing each other with any inappropriate body parts. After we were nestled up we exchanged names. I have never gone from strangers to naked kissing so quickly, especially not sober. We kissed lightly on the lips as the pictures were being taken then rotated so we were cheek to cheek. He delicately patted his French little kisses from my forehead to my chin as he told me he loved the way I smelled. Oh the French. I sat there and gazed over the Harbour as the wind kicked up my hair and gave me goose bumps all over my body, or was that Pier? We changed positions again and this time I was meant to do the kissing. A few soft kisses and the shot was over. I think his friend was kinda pissed he had to stand alone. We changed formations and lost each other in the crowd. Au revoir mon petit chou.

After the external shots were completed we headed inside to drape our flesh across the seats of the Opera House. If you ever go see a show there just know that a few thousand naked asses were all over that place. We had plastic bags to sit on but I'm sure not everyone used them. At this point the 3am wake up call was hitting everyone hard but an hour and a half later every seat was filled and the stage was covered and it looked like a fleshy waiting room of a slaughter house for cannibals. I think my favourite shot of the day was the final one. we were all instructed to "drape" ourselves over the seats and railings. It was amazing and almost morbid looking, like a hurricane hit a nudist camp.

at about 10am it was all said and done and I couldn't help but wear a big red smile for the rest of the day. I had such a great time and was thrilled to be a part of something so unique and interesting that I will never have the chance to experience again, and I get a free print! If Spencer Tunick ever does an event within a reasonable flying distance of your city I strongly suggest you go, you wont regret it.

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